Caption contest

So. There were (when I posted this) 339 hits on my page. There are not 339 comments. So I'd like to hear who else is reading this. Everyone, please submit your best caption to the picture below. Winner gets bragging rights and your prize is I will NOT drop my kids off at your house for a week.

Condition of the Economy can be found while trick-or-treating

Here in the epicenter of waterpark-related tourism, I haven't seen the effects of the underwhelming economy. Well, that ended last night.

The kids went out trick or treating last night. Oh, and they were just precious, too. Nate was an alien, Casey was a scarecrow and Annie was a pumpkin. Jesse, he said, was a disgruntled attorney. But I digress.

They returned about an hour later - hey, three little pairs of legs only last so long. After the kids went to bed, Jesse and I dumped the contents of their loot bags into a colander-like bowl.

What do you see? Snickers and Milky Ways galore? Maybe a package or two of Whoppers? Or, my personal favorites, Three Muskateers?

Nope.

There was, in three bags of candy, exactly one fun-size Snickers Bar. A few M and M packs, the usual Starbursts 2-piece, and one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Oh, when the recession hits Halloween. It's not good.

What's up with the Teddy Grahams? It's a nice thought, but come on, Teddy Grahams are about as high on the Candy Totem Pole as those mysterious orange and black wrapped pieces of crap candy. Which, as you can see, they got last night, too.

What did we give out, you ask? I sent Jesse to the store. He came home with two bags of Twix, a bag of Mini-Snickers (this is just wrong...hello, where were the fun-size?), and a bag of Tootsie Rolls. To his defense, I saw a lot of mini-Snickers in my kids' bags. So either someone else was passing them out, too, or the kids were in our candy when we weren't looking.

So much for the Trick-or-Treating of yore. I remember getting full-size candy bars at one house, a can of pop at another. There were mountains of Fun-Size chocolate, as far as the eye could see. That was during the Clinton years, some of the finest years for Halloween candy, and sadly, some of my last years Trick-or-Treating.

On a related topic, the first set of Trick-or-Treaters I had, there were two adults in the mix, both with bags of candy. I felt like telling one lady that since her boobs were bigger than mine, she didn't get any. But I chickened out. The other lady in the group, I guess I could turn a blind eye to, because her "costume" was horrible skin, stringy hair, and a few missing teeth. Not a costume at all, but her God-given apperance. Maybe I should include fun-size bottles of Pantene and the business card of the dentist.

Last year, I had an experience with a parent asking for candy, so I wrote a letter to the editor. This year, after opening the door to Adams-Friendship folk, I went to my computer and printed out this:


Jesse says it was harsh. But hey, I'm not the freaking food pantry. And if you're an adult and you're out Trick-or-Treating, you are obviously needing some sort of assistance.

I had the signs posted one each brick column and one on the front door. Several people read the signs.

And one last thing. I made the most AWESOME jack-o-lantern last night while the kids were out.

I think I'll do more like this next year. Kinda like Calvin and the snowmen, it will be Jessica and the pumkins.